Last week, I caught myself asking, pleading, meditating, begging and praying for something I already had. The reason? It’s a habit. I have been praying for it for years, (“God, please give me a TV show”) so many years that I forgot I actually had the damn thing and by habit I was still asking for it. 

I also learned something huge: Don’t ask for something from a space of not having it. Ask as though it is already yours!

I caught myself and had to laugh.  Then I asked myself, what else am I not standing in appreciation of?  I thought of my health, abundance, laughter, love, great family, friends that adore me, Happiness and remembered that I have so very much.

I set so many goals that I forget to appreciate the things that come easily. So, today I will focus on all the great happenings, which in turn, creates more great happenings and we can all do the same. Don’t judge another as lucky or unlucky because they are creating  just like everyone else. The question is, are we creating what we want?

Let everyday be January 1st, a chance to start over and have all that we crave!

Much Love,

Jennia

Have a look at what keeps me inspired (thanks Ester)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI2HGON68Vs (watching this video and many like it will bring more than you could ever wish for.. I swear)

Wanna see clips from my show?

www.beyondthetalent.com

No matter how rough most relationships can be, we are there to go it again, to try to make it work, to give it another shot and pray that love prevails..

I must tell you that I cant seem to shake my curiosity in this area of the heart.  How does one maintain happiness, freedom, and love?  For me, I find the ego has the ability to get in the way and really mess it all up.  We are not fighting our significant other, we are fighting ourselves.

How do we break the vicious cycle?  I don’t claim to have all of the answers or even some for that matter but I do know these things are essential for my growth:

READ, READ, READ!! Read books about self love, spirituality and relationships.  Knowledge is power and having the wisdom to apply the knowledge is TRUE power.

Apologize. Saying “I’m sorry” from the heart can heal and taking responsibility is so freeing.

Find ways to be happy on your own. I make happiness a goal like some aspire to run a 10k marathon. If happiness is the goal, you will make decisions in alignment with it.

Be vulnerable. If you are constantly trying to protect your heart from being broken, you lose.  You may be missing out on true love.

Be honest. This is not easy because more than anything, we as humans lie about our feelings. “I wasn’t upset.” “I’m not jealous.” and the list goes on. Not only do we need to be honest, we need to create a space for our other half to feel comfortable with being honest.

And also.. Have a lot of sex! It releases hormones that make us happy and it strengthens our bond…

Our work for good relationships is like brushing our teeth, we must do it everyday, never missing one day.  And this work has to be done in all relationships: kids, family, co-workers…you name it!

Of course there’s a million other things that can help any relationship, these are just a few.. I realized that maybe the mind can’t be spotless, but with work and the releasing of things that are fear-based senseless distractions, then we begin to find love for ourselves and the love we desire.

Here are some of truths I’ve been blessed with:

There is so much power in claiming what you want to the Universe. The saying, “A closed mouth don’t get fed” truly applies. I began a thank you letter every morning for things that I am grateful and all that I have yet to recieve and WOW!!! The list for things not yet recieved keeps getting smaller and blessings keep coming. ( google the “15 minute miracle”)

Compassion is key! We only lose by looking down at those with less than us or those that make big mistakes. The power of taking a deep breath, sending them love, and finding a way to understand eliminates a TON of Karma. This was learned in the hardest of ways.

I know this one sounds simple but.. Stay Positive! Is your glass half empty or half full? There is no correct answer but I promise the choice of half full will bring you so much joy.  I am blessed to have always had a cheery view on life but that doesn’t mean life has thrown me some serious blows. Regardless of all that happens remember this; it always works out.

Take care of yourself! Eat healthy foods that nourish you, surround yourself with friends that want you to win and don’t allow all the toxins from the media (i.e. the news) into your life as all that negativity is designed to keep you afraid.

Lastly, show the people in your world that you appreciate them. A simple I love you or thanks for all that you’ve done goes a long way. Most agree that if they lost that special someone in their lives, they would focus solely on all that they love so why not start today..

Now it’s your turn.. What did you learn?

let this day be better than all others…

……ready?

I say all that because like I do with many things, I took a chance. Oprah is creating an opportunity and I’m going for it… I’m not auditioning in a small room for a few, I’m doing it for all the world to see and excuse me for getting deep but it’s bigger than a funny 3 minute video, It’s me still being that 5 year old girl that believes she can have what she dreams about!!!

With a light heart we can change the world.

Now…Watch… Love… VOTE!!!!

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=15658&promo_id=1

yours TRULY,

jennia

Honestly, the “Life” article was both freeing and very hard to write. Freeing because it feels goods to tell truth and hard because the truth ain’t always easy.  I just know that when it ended I had one primary goal, to be completely transformed from the whole experience. The break up was by far the hardest thing I have EVER dealt with in that, it went deeper than 2 people I lost tons (I mean TONS) of friends as soo many were affected and so many had to “choose”.

The blogging has been for me what writing has always been; therapy.  When I began the blog I realized the power it had to help and so I made a pact to stay in integrity, tell the truth and NEVER ever play the victim.

So often, after a breakup, blaming feels good, even healthy at times but what would I gain from that other than more of what I don’t want? They say lessons are repeated until they are learned and man do I believe that!

My whole point of the “Life” article was the realization that I was the pot calling the kettle black. What I thought  was wrong was not wrong at all, it just wasn’t for me and no matter who you are and what you do there is someone out there who can and should embrace you. And if there are qualities about yourself you hate then either change them or find a way to fall in love with them. Because in truth, our relationships are reflections and if we can’t embrace ourselves then a relationship will only mirror back that which we cant stand to see…

I will always believe that every relationship in our lives should uplift, make us feel great and help us breathe easier.

My intention was never to cause even more pain by writing but to just honestly tell my side, express my thoughts and get my free therapy. I understand that you can’t please all the people all the time and you shouldn’t even try. I didn’t snap back at the ex….I held firm, suggested he read it again and simply said,

IT’S MY BLOG! I CAN WRITE IF I WANT TO!!!

I had all these amazing ideas for how he should live his life. Eat this, Don’t eat that! Don’t ever use a microwave. Don’t have another drink.  Don’t get drunk.  Buy this.  Get this car.  Don’t be his friend.  Wear this.  Cut your hair.  Let it grow.  Read this book.  Stop playing video games.  Don’t buy that!  Don’t let your family control  you.

OMG! Out of the grip of his family and right into mine…

I swear, at the time, I had no clue that this is what I was doing. And at the same time, I can’t say that if someone told me I was doing this, I would have believed them.

As sad as that may be, I find so many couples with the same issues. The woman takes the lead and the guy reluctantly adheres. This is a formula bound for failure but I didn’t know. I thought if I get him to do all these things that I would love him ”more”. More is the key word because I did love him deeply but the problem was that he wasn’t exactly the guy for me.

I was young and up until that point my love came with a gazillion conditions and although him ”going along” with most of these helped us to be quite happy and prosperous, I don’t think it was fair. Okay, I know it wasn’t fair. You should fully and completely love your partner for who and what they are, as they are. Instead I loved him “as long as”…

While I was still in it, I remember, years down the line, the horrific feeling of no longer being attracted to him and knowing deep down that there was nothing wrong with him.  I read everything i could on the subject because I NEEDED to know why.

I read. I meditated. I took group therapy. I soul searched and you know what I found?

I was so busy….I handled our money. Did the paper work. Balanced the books. Handled the taxes. Did the cleaning. And all the while had no clue that every task I did meant I didn’t trust he could do it. I couldn’t relax and let him be a man and that lack of trust bled into our bedroom, I didn’t trust he could please me.

In truth, he was amazing. He opened doors. He made me laugh. He laughed at all my dumb jokes. He was loyal and honest. He ALWAYS told me how pretty I was. Whatever I asked for he would give me… but…

I learned that as strong as I am, I need some one stronger. I prefer a man with a family that does not interfere. Someone that I can trust to totally control the situation. Someone from a not so conservative background.  Someone who doesn’t play video games.  Someone to balance the books. A man who loves peace and harmony above the fight along with all the qualities that I was blessed to get in my previous relationship… And because I was able to look at all of my follies with truth and honesty I got the relationship I desired….

It amazes me that I had to experience soo much to really get this …

Life…Truly a Learn as you go program!

I remember judging him as I was complaining to a friend about his snappy, lets argue about everything demeanor but the truth was,  for years, I made sure any spark became a roaring flame.  I was right there with him fighting and defending all kinds of bullshit.  Nothing was safe.  You name it, we fought about everything from parking spaces to rugs…

I hope I’m not painting a grim picture.  Most of these were small spats and we almost always made up quickly and laughed at ourselves constantly. But, all the while, I was changing. I was growing more and more spiritually and began to lose that desire to fight.  We always had a spiritual base but I wanted to go higher, to get more.  We read to each other, often from various spiritual books and while I loved it, I felt now was the time to really apply the knowledge.

I learned that that was true wisdom… not just learning but practicing what you learned in your everyday life.

When I first  felt this powerful shift happening I wanted to fight it because deep down i knew what it would mean… if he has no desire to take the ride, you will end up on the road alone….

Now, let me be honest,during this HUGE, terrifying shift I made some really big mistakes. You have to understand, I was soo scared that the fear had me acting totally out of character.  I think we sometimes have to be who we are not to remember who we really are. It was when I really made the decision to man up that everything changed.

I walked through the door anyway, and of course we ended. Still there is much work to be done because (and thankfully, not often) I can fall in to old patterns…

If you ask for clarity, that’s exactly what you are going to get.  My breakup (they should call it a breakdown) has it’s challenges. it has been soo good in that I learned more about myself than i could’ve ever thought humanly possible.

We get along famously and last week we enjoyed a picnic while we watched our gorgeous son run and play—That soo did not happen!

Here’s the real..

Yesterday, we had a barrage of nasty texts, really nasty. You know what they say about the pen being pretty mighty, well damn!  Honestly, it wasn’t what he said that ruffled my feathers, it was my response that has gotten under my skin.

Here I am Ms. Spiritual herself writing a book and all and having a texting death match!

My goal in life is to heal not just this stinker of a relationship but all of my relationships. that doesn’t mean we have be best buds but, why cant we be cool?!

I know, I should not be attached to the outcome but I know how good it feels to hold him in a loving place as opposed to feeling like I wish he fell neck deep in cow shit.  As soon as I turned off the  pisstivity, I turned on the positivity.

I began to pray and wish him well, really wish him well and it wasn’t for him, It was for me.  It feels so much more divine to feel good about everyone you encounter and everyone in your world.  As far as me slipping, this was an opportunity for me to be more loving  and embrace my humanness.  Along as there is breath in my body there will be room constant for growth….

So listen up, buddy, yeah you! I’m sending you love!!!! NOW deal with it!!

(Boy, I told him)

So here it is….me. no really, ME.

Alot  of  my  very  dear  friends  know  the  space  im  in  and  what  my  life  looks  like  right  now….  the  marriage,  the  baby,  the  separation,  the  happiness….  the happiness?!   Yes,  the  happiness!    The  truth   is,  danny   and  I  grew  apart  in  a very  real  way.   this  truth  absolutely  terrified  me!

I  remember  feeling  a  spiritual  shift  tugging  at  me  and  I  also  remember  consciously  wanting  to  deny  it,  to  move  as  far  away  from  it  as  possible  but  my  spirit  was  beckoning  me  to  look,  to  really  look  at  me…. I  told  a  friend about  this  at  the  time  and  said  im  so  scared  to  face  me  because  I  know  what it  all  might  mean…

It  was  mid  2007  when  I  began  to  get  in  tune  with  the  real  me,  the  real  voice without  society,  staunch  morals,  lies,  the  need  for  approval,  and  the  desire  to please.  You  know  what  I  found?  Underneath  all  that  stuff  was  a  girl  that wanted  to  be  free.   A  girl  that  wanted  to  go  it  alone.  A  girl  that  (gulp)  didnt want  to  be  married.

Danny  and  I  talked  and  talked  and  talked  (that’s  why  I  will  never  stop  loving him)  and  he  felt  some  of  this  as  well, the growing  apart  ..now here we are, these  very  different  people  who  hardly  recognize  one  another….and  it was during  this  time  i  read  something that  shook  me  to  my  core:

“One  of  the  reasons  why  many  people  fear  this  inward-looking  process  is  that they  are  dimly  aware  that,  having  discovered  one’s  real  nature,  1  can  no  longer  pretend  in  the  eyes  of  the  world”

That  was  a  sort  of  wake  up  call,  a  shake  up  call.  I  found  too,  that  you  can only  ignore  you  for  so  long.   Try  as I did, I popped and went about my quest in, at first, the most cowardly way. So yes, mistakes (or opportunities to grow) surely happened…I’m now in the process of trying to clean it up (bleach does NOT work). I would be lying if I said I regret them but I know I would not be who I am now without all my follies…

What is real for me is being a mother… I fucking love it! I looked at my son and felt the need to live fearlessly. I want him to be a leader, one who views life as a daring adventure or nothing at all. Who are we if we try to go thru life unscathed? Who am i and how can teach these things without BEING?!

If this is life 101, I got an apple in my bag and freshly sharpened pencils!

Sorry, I gotta go I got a small human jumping on my back telling me class is in session….